My brain tags along with memories that I have over and over, until such time that all I can do is let it come from my mouth. These days, while I was on my road to recovery, I’ve remembered past memories of which I have proven that I became the present person that I am. From the moment I have opened my eyes in the morning, the lingering feeling of past is there. This has nothing to do with any amount of attachment to anyone or anything. It is simply the act of remembering – the act which most of us take for granted.
I remembered how simple life was before, how it was easy to let words flow without haste.
I remembered how I sat there in that itchy office chair with a backdrop waiting for students to attend their classes where we can see each other vis-a-vis (pun). I remembered my limited friendships I’ve made there, how we exchanged food from time to time, how we met at the pantry to talk about whatever there is to talk about. I remembered being there and looking down on such colorful, brightly lit spot. There are so much to remember and I reckoned now what’s in me that loves to remember this much.
For me, it is all about looking forward, looking at the future and shaping it with the present. Maybe that sort of thinking is wrong for when I am in the present, I tend to look at the past and that is the only moment to relish it. Sacrificing the time being hurts me, I’ve never realized this till now.
So much to remember and even more to forget. A hobby well remembered, a self well forgotten.
In the end, we’re all alone as everyone else is.
